My First Time


Her palms were sweating, and her feet dangled as she sat on the edge of the bed.


The color of her gown was nude. Her nails were nude; her toes were painted nude. The irony. Her favorite color, a color that she wore faithfully, depicts more than her style but the lifestyle she submits to. Her feet continued to dangle. She watched them swing, barely scraping the ground beneath her.

I couldn’t figure out what was on her mind. Was she praying? Preparing? Or just simply nervous?

But her being nervous makes absolutely no sense. I know she isn’t nervous because she’s no subtle women, she owns her body and I know she uses it to the best of her ability.

I watched, trying to figure her out, but I was too distracted; my heart was about to jump out of my chest. It’s not her first time, I know it’s not, but it’s mine.

My hands are tucked under my legs to hide the shaking. I can’t be nervous right now; I have no right. This was my plan. I had to calm myself down. I had to step up.

 Finally, I got it together and put my attention back on Ava. She was still only dangling her feet.  She went on, and I stared at the clock as it ticked down.

Eventually, her feet came to a halt, she stood and began walking to the door. I was utterly mesmerized by the swaying of her feet and the ticking of the clock, that I completely tuned out the knocking on the door. It was that moment. It was time. The bomb reached its final tick. But instead of a mass explosion, I was presented with a cracked can of worms.

I waited and stretched my ears in the hope that I’d hear something. There was nothing but silence after she opened the door, I couldn’t see the doorway, I couldn’t see him or what he was wearing.  Despite the fact of me already knowing who he was, the anticipation of wanting to see his face drove me insane.

I anxiously waited.

Finally, I saw him, and I guess he had to keep his appearance while outside the hotel room because he dressed as if he was attending a business meeting.

Aside from my opinion of him, I couldn’t deny the fact that he was well put together in his navy-blue suit. I analyzed the pattern and stitching of it up until the last layering of it met the hotel room floor. I watched him unbutton his jacket and pull his pants down. Ava had already slipped her nude gown and nude panties off, then she turned around, and he helped her undo her nude bra. Her body was amazing, something that I could never have. Her hips complement her waistline. She has a butt that is not too big but is merely round and rich in size, and her breast was sitting up perfectly!

She twirled slowly in a circle for him as he rubbed his hand over all her delicate light skin. Watching her is entirely breathtaking, I felt like a kid on a carousel for the first time, becoming disappointed when the ride came to a stop after the final full circle. After his hands completed his journey along her curvaceous body, she stopped and laid on her back, leaving her legs open towards him. He proceeded to take off the remainder of his undergarments as he watched her climb onto the bed.

His eyes remained glued to her. They didn’t leave her body as he climbed on the bed and went over her.

I turned the screen down because she deserved a little privacy. After collecting my thoughts, I removed my eyes from the monitor and looked over to see Bel and Ty occupied with their phones as if nothing was happening in the conjoined room. I sat there and tapped my fingers on the edge of the grey, firm couch I was sitting on. My leg was shaking in a seizing-like manner. It happens every time I’m nervous. I was on a roller coaster for the first time. My palms were sweating, heart pounding, legs trembling, and my mind was racing. My trembling resembled horses galloping to the finish line in a Derby. It was ridiculous.

I felt a hand lay on my thigh, and my trembling turned into a shimmer as I got chills down my back. I looked up, and it was Ty. He gazed at me with that obnoxious face he makes when he’s “being concerned.” I watch his lips as they mumbled to me, telling me to calm down. I blankly stared at him, until he repeated himself and I nodded in agreement with him.

So, I attempted to calm down, but my mind continued to race. Bel found her way next to me and distracted my mental rants with an effort to comfort. She tried reassuring me that we were going to be alright. I didn’t acknowledge her energy, so I’m confident that I made her feel as though I didn’t care about what she was saying that night, but I did hear her. Her words helped; telling me that my plan was right, that we were okay, and my being good with numbers made this all happen, did comfort me. I even watched her out the corner of my eye as she went back to her phone.

I wasn’t upset with them; I was just rechecking myself. The times, the secrecy, the drop, my identity, our identity. Everything had to run smoothly, so I continued to stare while my mind kept on galloping.

It was a knock on our door, and my heart began to beat ferociously. I looked at the screen and saw Ava in the room still, so I stood behind Ty, curious yet scared to see who was at the door. I positioned myself slightly to the right of him as he opened the door. Ty was taller than me, so half of my view was blocked, but I did thoroughly hear “one pepperoni, and one sausage pizza.”

My heart sighed, but as soon as Ty paid him, I smacked him in the back of his head. It was stupid to order a pizza here, but I was hungry, so I still ate. I sat with the box sitting on my lap as my leg bounced every now and then. I gleamed at the screen, waiting.

The man in the navy-blue suit exited an hour and forty-five minutes after he knocked and entered Ava’s room.

“Right on time,” I said to myself.

I watched her wet a rag, clean herself, and slip back on her nude panties, bra, and gown. She sat on the end of the bed and waited. I watched her again, as the bomb reset itself. I began wondering what was on her mind as my nerves started to boil all over again.

This time we all waited anxiously and watched the screen, none of us said a word.

There was another knock on our door. Ty walked cautiously to the door and opened it, but there was no one there.

We all looked down to see an ice bucket laying on the floor. I was beyond astonished, but I couldn’t help but smile.

The cracked can was officially my possession.

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