The Harsh Realities About Raising Girls Fathers of Daughters Need to Know
Originally Posted on Rebel Circus
Parenting is a challenging task. Dealing with other people, in general, is a difficult task because ultimately, everyone is different and people have different opinions. With parenting though, you're responsible for how your kid turns out, and that alone is a stressful thought. Mothers and Fathers have to be careful of how they treat one another along with how they present themselves because children learn from actions.
Different styles. There is a huge difference in the way that a father raises his son compared to the way that he raises a daughter.
Gender-blind ways. Raising our children to not consider gender in their actions and to just be respecting and kind to all, is ideal but the chances of that being the reality any time soon are slim.
Confronting issues. Fathers have to confront different issues with their daughter then they do with their sons-- and those issues are why you can't raise your children in a gender-blind way.
The issues rarely deal with their daughters. What makes talking about these issues difficult is the fact that they usually have nothing to do with their daughters and everything to do with gender stereotypes.
Preconceived notions. These ideas that males have come from the way that males grew up and the spectacle between males and females.
Dropping those notions. The truth is that overcoming there preconceived notions of how girls should be raised should be dropped in many ways. Instead, they should adopt an open mindset when raising their girls.
Being squeamish about changing your daughter. When a dad changes his son's diaper, he already understands the body parts that he's dealing with. But changing your daughter’s diaper is a new territory so it may be uncomfortable, but it is important to also understand how your daughter's parts operate too.
Use the word "Vulva". Using other words in reference to your daughter’s genitals creates the idea of their genitals being unmentionable. This can lead their daughters into believing that their sex organs are something to be ashamed of. Call their genitals what it is, because that is what it is.
No pockets. You'll have to carry all of your daughter's belongings, plus everything else she picks up on the way (rocks and all). Females pockets are either nonexistent or super small, and it is one of the many disadvantages of being a female.
Potty training is completely different. Girls usually start potty training before boys, so they'll be smaller. So this means that dads have to be present during this time, and will have to get comfortable about reminding them to wipe the correct way (front to back) each time.
She doesn't always have to be your princess. The term princess is cute to use and we all love using it in reference to our little girls. But in the future, it could cause our little girls into believing that they have to be underneath others. Or it can imply that she has to carry herself in a specific way.
Your daughter may end up masturbating. Both girls and boys enjoy the pleasure and comfort that comes from touching their genitals. Avoid getting angry or unpleased by this behavior. If your children are doing this at a younger age, try to ignore it-- but when they reach 5 or 6, try to redirect them into doing that in private or distract them with something else.
Be there to play in makeup. Your kids want you to play with them-- no matter what it is. It's important that you show up, even if it's with playing in makeup, having tea parties or getting your nails painted.
Stay present even during puberty. This is a rough time for girls because their body is changing in so many ways. Ignoring that your daughter is going through these bodily changes can cause a sense of shame over their bodies.
Don't threaten her boyfriend. Yes, we all want to protect our children but would you threaten your son's girlfriend? This could actually push your daughter away and cause her to be with someone that you wouldn't want her being with.