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The night ended with her song, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,” by Cyndi Lauper. We were drunk- SLOPPY DRUNK! But all was well because we were sending Ava off as she would’ve preferred. I showed up in my red converse and ripped jeans, but when the night ended, I was in a tight, figure-fitting nude dress.

Did I ever state how much I adore my girls? Well, if I didn’t before, I am saying it now.

The night started off gloomy. Just this morning I was in Ava’s restroom while she was lying in her blood, and word traveled fast, so all the girls knew by the time I got to Bel’s house. Them knowing took the pressure off me, but it was already hard just getting there.

I walked out of my house, into the garage, locked my door, unlocked my car, got into my car, and went nowhere. I sat there for almost twenty minutes because I needed a moment to pull myself together entirely. Bel lives in the suburbs, outside of downtown so it can take me up to thirty-five minutes to get to where she resides. Tonight, it took me fifty-eight minutes to get there. I strolled through every street light, lingered at all the stop signs, and cruised at the minimum speed limit while on the freeway.

By the time I got to Bel’s, I had realized that the drinking started hours before my delayed arrival. When I walked in, I took off my shoes, Bel handed me a glass, and the girls sat in the living room- all waiting for me to speak. I looked around the room and considered every single gleaming eye and could tell that they knew.

“Tonight, we live for her. To Ava.”

That’s all that came out of my mouth before I lifted my glass of wine in the air. The rest followed, and the drinking began.

Shot after shot, beer pong, flip cup, body shots, loud music, and drunk dancing commenced, immediately. We were all inebriated.

The night grew, and Jazz had the idea to go to the twenty-four-hour supermarket to buy nude clothes in honor of Ava, and we did just that. All seven of us loaded up and headed around the corner. Luckily, Bel only lived a mile away from the supermarket… none of us were in the condition to be driving.

Everyone chose their outfit as we all drunkenly perused through the women’s clothing section, and wobbled to the checkout counter. The cashier looked at me with disgust as I pulled out my wad of cash and paid her the total of $89.47.

Once we got back to the house, we all stripped down and put on our nude outfits, and I found myself in a state of nirvana.

I didn’t feel guilty nor did I feel grief.

We turned on Ava’s favorite song and danced our last dance. When the song concluded, we all came to a halt and found a place to relax. The room was quiet- a good quiet. I knew there was nothing but good thoughts of Ava surfacing.

Things calmed down as everyone began falling asleep. I laid there in amazement until I realized my head was lying in Bel’s lap as she slept.

Bel was my best friend.

My mind lapsed to earlier in that night when I sat on my couch sobbing.

Three people have a key to my house; Bel, Ty, and myself.

A few hours ago, I sat there crying on my couch as knocks proceeded on my door. After persistent beats, Ty unlocked my door, came into my living room and sat next to me. He pulled me into his arms while kissing my forehead.

He held me, and then guided me to my closet so I could get dressed. He politely gave me privacy so I could change, but when I stepped out of my closet, he was sitting on the cushioned chair that was in the corner of my bedroom.

When I stepped out of the closet, I looked at him and thanked him. No words came from his mouth. Instead, he walked towards me and hugged me. Naturally, my head sunk into his chest.

My body melted into his, and every emotion followed with memories from the past raced throughout my body.

He lifted my head, staring at my lips.

Paralyzed by his embrace, I found myself five years back, in the body of the 16-year-old who was foolishly in awe of him. We began kissing as his hands maneuvered around my body.

At the moment, I was outside of myself, watching it all unfold. Piece by piece my clothes were taken off, Ty was gripping me as he put me in the air and laid me on my back.

He stopped and looked at my body.

“I’m sorry.”

I looked at him in his eyes and saw the person I fell in love with years ago, and I, the 21-year-old in this 16-year-old’s fantasy, couldn’t help but reassure him that I forgave him a long time ago.

Tonight, for the first time we had sex. I made love to the person who years ago was my first love; the same person who broke my heart and who is now dating my best friend- my only friend.

A friend who has no clue that her boyfriend and I used to date.

 

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