I have recently made it known to the world that I am pregnant. I am excited to have my baby girl but aside from the “new mommy” frenzies, I’m also experiencing the “young mommy” frenzies. I am 20 years young and will be turning 21 around the time I am due. This transition is not going to be as difficult as it would for other 20-year-olds because I have been “adulting” for some time now, I live with my partner, and I never was a party girl. Does any of this mean that I am 100% ready to be a mommy? HELL NO! I am nowhere near ready but is any mom at any age ready? The process leading up to welcoming our baby girl into this world is nerve-wracking but so far, I’ve learned some things that will be beneficial to any new mom.
- Your Life is Not Over. Having a baby will be time-consuming, but it doesn’t mean you can’t live anymore. Of course, when the baby comes, you need time to adjust but having a baby shouldn’t stop you from having your own life. Strive for that degree, continue working towards your career, and keep your goals in sight. I’m not saying neglect your child, but your baby seeing you live your life to the fullest can only make them want the same when they’re older.
- It Takes a Village. The most reviving feeling is having support during this process, and not just from the people who only congratulate you but those who check on you, offer to help, or even pass down their unused baby products to you. Raising a baby is not easy, and preparing for one isn’t, so asking for help and advice is okay now and when the baby gets here. It took a group of a people to raise you and it’s going to take the same amount to raise your baby.
- A Baby Does Not Equal Security. Having a baby does not mean you and your partner are going to last forever. You both will be in one another’s lives forever now because you will be co-parenting, but the baby doesn’t supplement wedding rings. Focus on being good parents to the baby, and not having the baby be the reason you both stay together. A baby can be a beautiful mess, but delivering that child is not your wedding day.
- You’ll Never Know What You’re Doing. I have no idea if what I’m doing while carrying my daughter is right, so I know I won’t know what the hell to do when she gets here, and that’s fine! I have my mother, “mother-in-law”, aunties, and grandmothers to ask advice from but I understand that I won’t ever really know how to raise a child or prepare for one. Children are raised differently and they can come out to be good children/adults in different ways. The perfect way to raise your child is by loving them and trying your best.
- You Only Have One Life. You learn by trial and error and everyone takes their own path. This new individual being added to your life is just another factor, it doesn’t mean the journey you’re already on must conclude. No matter the age, a baby should be looked at as another soul to enjoy the journey with, and no one’s opinion should alter your happiness along your own journey.